Parts Unknown: The Convoluted Mess That Is WWE Storylines

Brad Milner — Contributor — @ BylineBeat

(Panama City, Florida) John Cena’s elbow injury caused a world of trouble for WWE Creative recently. His bad health necessitated an audible that led to a quirky ending in the Ryback-CM Punk WWE Championship Match at Hell in a Cell. Now, Cena’s apparent green light to compete again drastically changed the lineup for Survivor Series, which takes place in two weeks and is in dire need of momentum.

Two weeks ago we were treated to the formation of Team Foley and Team CM Punk with both squads set for the classic elimination tag match. Flash forward a week and Team Foley is now facing Team Dolph Ziggler and CM Punk will defend his title against Ryback and Cena in a Triple Threat Match.

That sounds wonderful and all, but before this happened WWE decided to toss Cena into a storyline involving “improper conduct” with former Raw General Manager AJ Lee. Vickie Guererro also is at the forefront of this, as is her beau Ziggler. Only problem now is both wrestlers are involved in separate events at Survivor Series and Foley is left with no true connection to his team’s main foe.

Of course, Cena and Ziggler could still cross paths and probably will. I’m betting Ziggler sticks his nose in the title match somehow. And we know this storyline isn’t ending soon and there’s bound to be a twist.

Writing like this isn’t original, I mean Impact Wrestling did a similar abuse of power angle earlier this year. We also need to continue to have short memories, such as we must forget how Vickie had Ziggler “fight for her affections.” I’m no rocket scientist, but boning someone in management remains a conflict of interest at all times, not just in the recent past.

That’s placing too much logic in all of this, however. This is wrestling, er sports entertainment, and we know better, right? The only hope is the recent drifting writing due to Cena’s inability to compete comes together in the next few weeks.

Then again, it may all still cascade out of control. It has happened a time or two in the sport, after all. It would be nice to have a good payoff in the end.

The anticipation is why we watch the shows though. This is all building toward the return of The Rock at Royal Rumble, remember, so it’s doubtful all of this mess will be ongoing at the time.

The recent setups have been decent and Cena couldn’t help but chuckle when hotel surveillance footage showed him in nothing but a towel. AJ also was seen in similar attire, which made all the fanboys have wet dreams. I’m banking on the nude pics myself.

It reminds me of the old-school angle when Ric Flair first came to WWE. There were rumors he was having an “affair” with Miss Elizabeth, the real-life and on-screen wife to Macho Man Randy Savage.

This was the first “Photoshop” of its kind. Both men were in pictures with Elizabeth at a pool and out on the town. It was revealed that Flair doctored the photos and Macho Man stood triumphant in the end.

Again, photos in this case really would sell the bit. Real photos are even better, but I digress.


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